and A Christian
have been a born again Christian for over thirty years. It was the best decision
that I have ever made to give my heart to the Lord. He has given me peace,
joy, and eternal life.
It was quite a shock to me when two years ago I got this crazy urge to put on my wife's skirt. I have some crazy urges in my life. All were harmless and the desire passed. This urge kept getting stronger. When I acted on it, I thought that it would pass but instead got stronger. Here I was, a Christian man, wanting to wear women's clothing. I didn't understand. I thought that I was weird, strange, and headed to some abyss that would affect my life. Never in my life did I wear women's clothes nor had the desire. Why now?
Through out my life I always felt that I was different. I never knew why but I did. I never had problems with who I was, but what was my purpose in life? I have always been drawn to unusual and perhaps strange things and people. Even as a Christian, I always felt different. People liked me and enjoyed being with me and I them. From time to time the inner turmoil about being different nearly caused me to blow up.
I sought counseling about my feelings after wearing my wife's skirt. It was discovered that I was a crossdresser. When the counselor asked me if I enjoyed it, I thought a moment and said yes. For weeks I battled with the thought of being a crossdresser. I didn't believe it was compatible with my faith in God. I was getting tense and stressed about it. I was most concerned about crossdressing affecting my life as a husband, father, and Christian.
Things came to a head on July 26,2005 when I admitted to myself that I am a crossdresser. All the stress and struggle dissipated from me. I was at peace with my decision. I read much about crossdressing and transgender and what transgender is and what it means. It instantly clicked with me. I consider myself to be a transgender and crossdresser.
Some would say that I am deluded, hell bound, and mentally confused. I think about Jesus' disciples and what a motley crew they were. They turned the world upside down and it still affects us today. Jesus is more interested in my heart, not that I'm transgender or that I crossdress. I have embraced being transgender and feel complete, content, and liberated.
God would not put something on me if he did not think that I could bear it. He has brought me into a world of like minded people. My love for the transgender community knows no bounds. I pray that God would use me to share Christ's love with the transgender community as well as the gay, lesbian and bi communities as well. I see a lot of hurting people that need to be reached with God's love. Jesus died for them, too.
I thank God for what I am now and pray that he will use me in ways that will touch others lives.
© 2007 Gennee
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