Wow! Thank you Lord, again!
In the past couple months alone, my supervisor at work has bent over backwards for me, keeping me from getting canned, and she may continue. She continues to just amaze me: I have given her every reason to give up on me unintentionally, but she just won't. I've only had one other boss that's fought for me like this, even when I stopped thinking I was worth the effort. They both must really see the good in me even when I don't, which is incredible. Under most circumstances, I give everyone leniency...except myself. That's right, I admit to my faults, but when I'm cruel or even untentionally manipulative, I've felt utterly worthless, which is slowly beginning to change.
Since Nov.2013, I've lost both pet cats-12 and 14 years old, my grandparents, my aunt Ruth and most recently, my stepdad Tom-whose more of a father figure, as well as my grandpa, than my biological one has been throughout most of my life.
Some people think I'm pretty strong to make it through all this without ending up in a nut house, a few friends even thought I'd be pushed over the edge after grandma and Ruth alone-well, Ruth died in Jan. 2014, and grandma died on Feb.12, 2014, its June of 2015 now, I think some have misjudged and underestimated me, but the loss hasn't been easy, I was always close to grandma and Ruth, they were like counselors for me quite often. Not having them there physically has been very hard for me, and I guess in some ways, I wish mom was like them, but she just isn't. I've wanted to share this for awhile, and after yesterday, I finally decided I was ready.
Lord, thank you for the friends and family you've brought into my life, and of course bringing the ones back into it that have drifted. Thank you for using Matt to open me up in the Summer of 2013, in a way no one ever has, and most of all, thank you for being there for me, even when I almost gave up on you. I know I'm gonna mess up, but I'm trying to stop dwelling on it as much. Continue your work with me, I know you still have a lot to do, for now, thank you.