Ghosts that haunt us
I recently had a dream that I was in a crowded restaurant having dinner and to my surprise, there were people that I knew at the other tables. But these were all persons from my past. They were people whom I had lost touch with or whom we had broken off our friendships, or whom I once loved. It was as if everyone that I loved and lost were in that room. I went up to each table to speak with each person and I suppose it was my way of correcting the loss between us. Some persons were good with it and happy to see me. Others seemed to be unmoved and superficial. They didn't want me to try to repair our relationships.
I woke up with sadness because it was a reminder of all the failed relationships in my life. In my dream, I had gathered them all in one room. These were my ghosts. People I had not thought about in a long time, but who live in my subconscious...reminding me of my failures.
One thing we all have is a past. In our struggle to figure out our lives here on earth, so many of us are quietly haunted by the people and the events that went wrong in our lifetimes.
Those people whom we had unresolved issues. Those friendships lost. Those loves that were incomplete. Those problems never fixed. People who hurt us and the people whom we hurt. What could have been. What never should have been. What used to be, but is no longer. These feelings may never stop haunting us.
Many of us don't acknowledge our ghosts in public because of the power some of them have on us. It may seem embarrassing to us that we have not moved on. But in our hearts live the ghosts of our past.
of us has different ways in which we deal with our ghosts.
Some of us are able to let them go and put them where they belong. But some of us don't have such an easy time.
Many of us escape from our ghosts through substance abuse or activities that take us away from our pain and loss. Others of us just become workaholics or throw ourselves into something to keep our minds busy. Some of us just ignore our ghosts, hoping that one day they will just go away. And some of us live and relive the scenarios with our ghosts, quietly sinking deeper into a dark hole.
You see it's not so easy to forget a parent who abused us. It's not so easy to forget someone whom we loved who is no longer there. It's not so easy to forget someone who was evil to us or betrayed our trust. It's not so easy to forget someone whom we cherished, but didn't appreciate our love.
And just when we think we have let go of our pains and losses, a thought enters our mind, a song pops up, a stranger triggers a memory, or a dream awakens us to relive our lives all over again.
No matter what we try to do, our past follows us.
The problem is, even as Christians, we cannot wish these ghosts away. They hide beneath our subconscious. They lurk to pounce on us, just when things seem to be getting better. They remind us of our unfinished business. They remind us of our losses. They remind us of our failures. They remind us of how painful life can be.
many of us bring our ghosts to God and we hope He can help remove our pains,
thoughts and struggles with them. But many of our ghosts loiter around. Some
ghosts we actually want to keep around because along with the pain are happy
memories that we don't want to let go of.
There are no easy ways to release them. No easy ways to give them to God. But we have to. So many of us can fall into a deep depression if we allow our ghosts to hang around too long. And too many of us give up on our lives, fearing the creation of more bad situations, engaging less with new people for fear of repeating ourselves. Some of us choose to never love again because future love may result in future hurt.
Many of us subconsciously don't want to give up our ghosts. Though they can bring us down, sometimes they are all we have of the people we once loved, even though our love had flaws.
If ghosts linger, perhaps it is because we want them around. They were a part of our lives and to let them go, is to let go of who we are. But there is a point where, we cannot live for our ghosts. The past is past. We can never relive what once was and to live with them prevents us from moving ahead and living today.
To live in the past is to have no future.
Jesus said, "Let the dead bury their own dead." - Matthew 8:22b
There's a point when we need to forgive the ones who hurt us and ask those whom we hurt to forgive us. There is a point when we have to let go. There is a point when we have to give everything to God, trust in Him and live each day at a time.
ghosts may never completely go away, and our past issues may never see a resolution,
but we have God who loves us and will be with us through our tough times,
holding us close to Him.
In God there is light. In Jesus there is hope. Only He can set us free. Only He can heal our wounds. Give your ghosts to God.
© 2009 Edrick
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