I Don’t Like Myself Much

God created us as we are and loves us, but for us to love ourselves is a completely different story. We try very hard to follow the Lord in all things we do, but loving ourselves is one of those areas we ignore. In fact, we think feeling low about ourselves is OK, since we rationalize that it is better than being proud. However, having low self-esteem is very different than being humble. All of us suffer from some level of self-deprecation.

Humans are a societal group. We want to belong. We look at the successful members and want to be like them. When we are not successful…we bring ourselves down, and when we bring ourselves down, we lose respect and love for ourselves.

Our hatred of our bodies is everyone’s first pet peeve.
“I hate my body, my weight, my nose, etc.”
Of course, these feelings come about because we have bought into the current cultural and media bias toward beautiful people.
And one of the questions in life that has haunted mankind since the invention of the mirror: “How do I compare to everyone else?”
Of course the GLBT community has amplified this importance, confirming our feelings about ourselves.

We also dismiss those things which have made us who we are :
“I hate my ethnicity, my background, my past, my family upbringing, etc…”
Things that we cannot change about ourselves.
Things which have shaped our personalities and outlooks on life.

And then there’s the feeling that we are somehow unworthy human beings:
“Nothing I do turns out right. I always mess things up. Everyone is better than me. I don’t deserve anything good.”
Our lack of optimism in regard to our own abilities and our future can almost guarantee our failure because we have given up even trying. And anything we do that is good, we quickly dismiss, not accepting any positive credit for our achievements.

Even though we know it is wrong to feel this way, we can’t help it. We are prisoners to this machine that we call “society.”
We spend a lot of time and energy trying to live up to this society that actually doesn’t care anything about us. And the only reason many of us want to achieve these things is because we have a need for the approval of the society BEFORE we can accept ourselves. We can’t even love ourselves without some sort of validation from the world that we are worth something.

By comparing yourself to others and trying to keep up with them, you are actually preventing yourself from being yourself.
It also means you are in agreement with the rules of the society:
Conformity & Competition.

With God, there is nothing to prove.
You are special to Him. God is our anchor. He stands with us.
As Christians we have the special love of Christ that is not based on anything we do. God loves us because of who we are. Our identity does not come from the world, but from Jesus Christ who looks within our hearts and sees our soul.
And within our soul, He sees an amazing creature who has yet to blossom to full potential.

Until you learn to accept the unconditional love Jesus offers, you will not be able to love and accept yourself as a valuable person created for a special purpose that only YOU can fulfill.


© 2003 Edrick

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