You Don't Have to Forgive
That’s right, you don’t have to forgive anybody the pain, the anguish, the harm that anyone has ever done to you. You are a free to do as you please. An ex, a boss, a parent, a sibling...whoever they are, you can keep sending cold daggers to them as long as you want.
To forgive someone is to let them off the hook and get away with the pain, hurt and betrayal they’ve caused you in your life. But they can’t get away with it and you’re going to make sure of that.
You remember their words, their coldness, their nastiness and their attitude when they stabbed you and twisted that knife in your gut.
And what about your anger, tears and pain? You can hold on and remember it, keep it alive and send hatred back to them for all they’ve done.
But unfortunately you’ll have to pay the price for keeping your bitterness alive.
Your life will have to stay frozen in time, never to heal or feel whole again.
But that is your choice.
We as people function best when we are free from sadness, hatred, anger, resentment and pain.
Any emotions held in don’t work very well with us, but by choosing to stay in the same place and memorializing your pain, you have chosen to give up your life and never move forward.
By not letting go, you allow that person/persons to have and keep their power over you until your dying day.
Bitterness never lets go. Bitterness reenacts painful scenerios over and over and over.
You may say you'll forgive, but you'll never forget…well, of course you’ll never forget unless you get amnesia, but if you choose to never forget, in reality, you have never really forgiven.
You think that if you forgive, you are letting them off the hook, but by not forgiving, you remain a hostage.
When you do not forgive, you have decided to keep the hurt and unfortunately it will become a permanent part of you.
Some of us romanticize our suffering - "Poor me, look at what you did to me."
We seem to get satisfaction from our bitterness because we are able to continue to hate and send anger. But is it really worth it?
One result of not forgiving, is to not be able to love again.
To have suspicion, fear, distrust and paranoia of those people who wish to love and befriend you is not a good way to live your life.
And by the way, some people who have been hurt, end up becoming like the person who hurt them. The abused becomes the abuser. Someone hurt you, so you will pass that hurt to someone else. But the problem is it is you who will suffer the most.
A person who is hurt may never get close to anyone again.
A person who is rejected may never love again.
A person who is betrayed, may never trust again.
If someone tries to love you, you will not be able to reciprocate and that person will eventually have to leave.
And if you are not careful, you may soon eliminate all the people who want to love you.
So no, you don’t have to forgive anyone, but then be ready to live a lonely life.
There is a reason why Jesus said, "Forgive others as I have forgiven you".
Because when you are able to forgive, you can be whole again. And when you are whole, you can love.
But it is up to you to decide if you are ready to let go of your pain and forgive.
Forgive and Jesus will show you what it means to be truly free so you can have peace and have love again. Forgive others, as He has forgiven you.
© 2022 Edrick
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