"Discrimination
and marginalization of gay persons should not only be stopped but their
struggle welcomed as help to revitalise the whole
church to become even more evangelical."
Ferruccio Castellano
su Fede, religione e omosessualità)
(*
http://www.centrocastellano.altervista.org/ - Study and Documentation Centre Ferruccio Castellano on Faith,
religion and homosexuality)
"It
is not the occasional majorities formed here and there within the Church to
decide, our journey or that of others.
The saints are the true and decisive majority. It is according to them that we orientate ourselves and our
own journey of faith. They
translate the divine into the human, what is eternal into their own time "
(Joseph Ratzinger)
The embrace of three mothers who warmed my faith
by Emanuele Macca
It is a
reflection on the testimony of three mothers whose three gay boys lived and
died in the United States and Italy (Mary Griffith, Judy Shepard and Ursula Barzaghi). Starting from the story of Mary Griffith (also
represented in the movie "Prayers for Bobby" -
www.prayersforbobby.com) this article offers a spiritual re-reading of that
history. The article then elaborates a reflection about the meaning and power of these
witnesses. These are witnesses of
strength and of faith which goes beyond that inner anger that the Church's
official approach can cause within one’s own heart.
The
culmination of this conversion occurs in the scene where Mary participates in
San Francisco’s Gay Pride together with all her family and together with other
parents from PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). During the march she dedicates a statement
of filial love to all the LGBT boys and girls telling them: "To all the
Bobby and Janes in this world, I say these words as if you were one of my
children. Please do not give up hope in life or in yourself. You are all very special to me. I am working hard to make this world a
better and safer place for you. Promise me that you do not give up. Bobby no
longer believed in love. I hope you do not do this. I will always carry you in my heart. " (1) This statement answers a message
that Bobby himself had left in his own diary: "My name is Bobby Griffith.
I write these words in the hope that one day, after many years, I can look back
and remember what my life looked like when I was young and confused,
desperately trying to understand myself and place in the world where I
lived. The other reason I write
this is that after my death others may be able to meet me and see what my life
as a young man was like "(1)
As Mary states her statement of love she comes close to a boy in whose
face she sees the eyes of her own son.
I think that it is here that the greatest miracle in the history of
the Griffith family happens. This
gesture echoes two episodes of the Holy Scriptures, which I quote below:
John
19.26-27
Jesus is crucified - Jesus saw his
mother and next to her favorite disciple. Then he said to his mother:
"Woman, behold your son." Then he said to the disciple, "Behold
your mother." From that hour the disciple took her into the house.
Matthew
14.14-20
Multiplication of the loaves and fishes *
- Then, it was evening, his disciples came and said, "This place is
deserted, and it is already late, then dismiss the crowds that go to the
villages and buy food." But Jesus said unto them, need not go away, you
give them to eat. " And they said: "We have here but five loaves and
two fishes." And he said, "Bring them here." And then commanded
the crowds to sit down on the grass, then took the five loaves and two fishes,
and looking up to heaven, blessed them, broke the loaves and gave them to the
disciples and the disciples, the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied,
then the disciples gathered up the broken pieces in twelve baskets full.
While
Mary embraces that boy whose eyes are filled with tears she embraces the world
and embraces Bobby’s heart. Mary
comes out her convictions and those of her own family. She follows the example of that other
Mary, the Madonna who obeys the words of Jesus and accepts John also as her own
son. Then the journey
continues, she looks at the faces of those other children participating in that
Gay Pride march, to each of them she speaks as if they were all her
children. People grow to love in
love. It is not only are those
five loaves and two fish who had to go to Heaven together (I'm referring to her
family), but now that love is extended to all those LGBT boys and girls who
need love and acceptance for who they are, beyond any definition of family, sin
and "nature".
Judy
Shepard witnessed the brutal murder of her own son Matt. He was killed because of his
homosexuality. He was left to die
tied to a fence. In her
autobiography, Judy says: "The police had told me how they had found
Matt. I always felt there was a
spiritual presence with Matt, a kind of supernatural power. I never believed Matt would die in that
kind of manner. The police told me
that as soon as they spotted Matt tied to that fence, he was not alone. Next to him, lying on the ground,
was a deer who seems to have stayed there all night to keep watch and keep Matt
company. Once the police arrive
the deer disappeared into the woods. Matthew who had spent the night there and
was without consciousness. For me
that stag was God’s presence who stayed by his side til the end. " (2)
While
visiting Henry in the hospital she gets to know other men afflicted with the same
disease and writes: "For my part I decided to devote myself to working
with gay men, because while for persons who have drug addiction problems
accommodation facilities and help was available, gay men could only depend on
the solidarity of their own group.
I discovered that although many had a family, they did not find the
courage to reveal to them that they were HIV positive for fear that their
family also discovers their sexual orientation.
A
few months before his death Henry was baptized thanks to the loving care Sister
Celeste (hospital nurse) offered him.
I want to remember this event with the words of Frank Henry’s grandson
who attended the third grade at the time: "A few months before his death, Chicco was baptized.
During the ceremony people cried, especially mum. (…) My sister and I
were maid’s of honour and brought a bouquet of
flowers to the altar. Three
priests were at the altar. Nurses
sang in choir on the balcony above the door. In that church I felt that everyone loved my uncle.
"(3)
Henry’s
life was marked by a virus. Ursula
writes: "Like other mothers, since then I also have my little altar with
Henry’s photograph smiling at bouquet of flowers in front of him. My wonderful son always smiled even
when he felt a desperate desire to live.
A small photo of R. keeps him company. Fragrant flowers no longer exist for him. They were two men who loved each other,
who have fought together and have lost their battle to death but still love one
another. "(3)
Following the death of her son, Ursula
devoted much of her life to other persons living with HIV and AIDS. She also campaigned and educated
students in schools explaining how HIV is transmitted. She also used to tell them her story as
a mother whose son died of HIV and how they struggled together against this
disease.
Reflecting
on these three stories (without forgetting the many other similar stories), I
realize that faith is a flame that can never be extinguished. My own anger can blow as much as it
wants, the hierarchy much loved by the media and the crowds can also thunder
its own voice about traditional family values, about "unnatural"
loves and mortal sin. But it is to
this small church that I want to listen to. The church proclaimed by these stories of these three women
to whom I owe so much. Listening
and meditating on their experience I can understand what love means to
"love a humanity that only half of it is accepted, the other half
sidelined, its right to exist ignored and not recognized for what it is." The
message of the gospel is timeless and it transcends any definition of the
family, sin and of "nature"!
(1) "Prayers for
Bobby," directed by Russell Mulcahy, 2009
(2) Judy Shepard, "The meaning of Matthew, My sons' murder in Laramie and a World Transformed", Hardcover
Edition, 2009
(3) Ursula Barzaghi, "Senza vergogna” , TEA
Edizioni, 1996
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